i hate seeing facts.
i hate the fact that i'm often defeated by my surroundings.
i hate it whenever.. i get upset over the same few things over and over again.
i hate it when i told myself not to care anymore, and yet.. i still do care alot.
i hate third parties, of anykind.

i hate the study environment i'm put at.
i hate the way things change.
i hate drastic changes.
i hate the way ppl react.
i hate the fakeness in the atmosphere.
i hate the way how someone could have just change everything.
i hate YOU.

i like studying in a quiet environment.
i like sciences more than maths.
i like msn chat.
i like reading books.
i like venting my anger on some non-living things.
i like smiley faces of.. some special ppl.

i love myself.
i love my hpys.
i love my family.

my life seem to be quite balanced..
but it's changing.. just because of some idiots.. that's why i say i hate changes. a third party come in nia, BOOM, everything changes in just one day. it's not only once that this third party comes in, its more than TWICE.

cant you just give me a break?
haiz, i'm suffocating from all these nonsense. everytime i tried to make myself happier by telling myself.. "why should you care? just heck care"

but how many times did i manage to "heck care"
seldom or none. it's because i'm still unwilling to let go, it's because.. these ppl just seem so important to me.. but now, i dont know whether isit time to just let go.....

one week ago, i'm :DDD/contented
now... i'm still contented, still :D, but also confuse.. i'm confuse with the way human beings interact and what's true friends? whats more important than mugging for Os?
IDK.

dont ask me why, dont tell me to relax.
i dont need all these "concerns" at all... if it's a real one, it should be coming from within.

zZz another few more days to Os
"not much time left" so, why am i bothering at all...